Dear Campbelltown Council
I have lived in your district for nine and a half years and this is the first time I have had just cause to be annoyed with you.
Which is disappointing, because up until now, I thought you’ve been doing a great job. It’s much easier to hand over my council rates when I appreciate what is being done with my hard-earned money.
You’ve given me a lot, Campbelltown. Living in this area is a daily trip down memory lane, reminding of my childhood spent in Murray Bridge’s Italian community. This is mainly due to the fact that the children of the Murray Bridge Italians all moved to this area, I grant you. Yet the Italianness of this community made me feel immediately at home. No where else in Adelaide can you drive down a road and see a poorly written sign advertising rape for two dollars. Anywhere else and there would be outcry, but here, in this Italian smelting pot, we all know that the rape they are talking about is of the broccoli variety (di rape).
I love that in the summer months you hold ‘Moonlit Markets’ at Thorndon Park. I love that you have movie nights there, also. I’ve never been to either, but it’s good to know I have the option.
I love that you built that migrant monument at Glynde Corner, even though everyone from outside our area mistakes it for a weird asymmetrical church and us Campbelltown folk have to explain that no, it’s a monument, not a building of any kind, and yes, it lights up at night.
I love that you celebrate Christmas by having a pageant where Father Christmas rides in the back of an industrial crane, probably supplied by Bianco’s. I love that Bianco himself is something of a celebrity in the area, and that Gorge Road is shut down when they have their yearly sale.
So yes, I love a lot about this council district. What I don’t love is this so-called pizza festival.
When I first saw the signs, I got excited. A pizza festival! Of course! We have more pizza places than pubs in this area. More pizza places than churches; quite a feat in an area heavily populated with Catholics. Pizza and Campbelltown go hand in hand. So when I heard about the festival, my imagination started running wild.
I wondered how you would do it. Some big celebration in Thornton Park where you could buy pizzas from hundreds of stall holders? Or maybe a running-of-the-pizza, much like that tomato festival they have in Spain. We’d all run down Newton Road while being pelted with margherita pizzas.
Or – and this was my most outlandish thought, but I really hoped you’d do it – you’d drive a truck down every street in Campbelltown, giving out free pizza. It’d be like an ice cream truck but instead of the usual greensleves being played, ‘Shut Uppa Your Face’ would be blaring. And the pizzas wouldn’t be handed out, but thrown from the road like a frisbee which residents had to catch at their doorstep. If you caught it, you got to eat your pizza. If you didn’t, you had the task of cleaning oily tomatoes from your doorstep. If you weren’t home? They pizzas were tossed anyway; an Italian version of getting egged.
So have you done any of this? No. The extent of your so called pizza festival is to simply notify us on your website of when local eateries are having specials. No running with the pizzas, no pizza festival in the park, no pizza tossing at the doorstep.
And for this reason, I’m annoyed with you, Campbelltown.
My hope is that next year, if you decide to continue with the farce that is the pizza festival, you employ at least one of my suggestions. Otherwise, it is nothing more than a pizza marketing campaign. Redundant, given us locals know where to get the best pizzas.
From your rate-payer,