So I nanny part time now. It’s great. I love it.
Friday the boy has sport. It’s my job to take him. In the summer it was tennis which was shit. I hate tennis. Worse still watching ten year olds play tennis. ‘Cause there’s only like a forty percent chance they’ll get the ball over the net. Honestly, some nights we’d be there for hours.
Now it’s winter and the boy plays football (or soccer for any Australians/Americans in the room.) Good. I like football. Well. Apart from that night where it pissed down and the boy and me returned home stinking and looking like drowned rats. Smelling because whatever poly-blend my cardigan was made up of didn’t take well to water. The boy stank because, well, he’s a boy.
So now it’s football and I like it because at least I understand it. When there’s a goal scored it’s one goal. Not fifteen love or whatever shit scoring system they have in tennis.
What I don’t like is how some kids behave on the field. Because it’s all too familiar.
Like the other night. Some kid tripped over or slipped, because it was quite wet. His opposite number happened to be running by at that exact moment. So fallen kid, or clumsy kid, or whiney kid (whatever you want to call him) started clutching his shin, crying and screaming at the referee.
He’d seen this on the TV. Elite footballers getting paid hundreds of thousands of pounds per week falling like a pack of cards because someone from the other team got too close to their precious shins. Because someone from the other team was doing their job – ie trying to get to that round ball that is so vital in the game of football.
I know why the professional players roll around on the ground clutching whatever body part was grazed by their opposite number – they’re trying to get a penalty or free kick. Which strikes me as a bit odd. Does none of them want to win by own merit? Like creating opportunity of goal-scoring themselves? Also – do they not feel a bit, I don’t know, weak? I mean, is not a very manly thing to do; cry and carry on by slight skin-to-skin contact. You’d never see a rugby player doing that.
Am trying to imagine the likes of Adam Jones crying about being hit too hard on the rugby field. Would never happen. Because he’s Adam Jones.
Alun Wyn Jones would never roll about on the floor crying, either. I should add that using Alun Wyn as an example is simply so I can include a photo of him. Would you take a look. Handsome.
But back to the football players. While they’re making themselves look like absolute sissies rolling around on the floor, not one of them, I’m sure, realises the impact they are having on the younger generation. Because now the kiddy-winks will have no concept about fair-play, trying, or getting back on their feet and carrying on. You know, the things you want your kids to learn when playing sport. If they’re using their footballing heroes as role models, kids of today will be thinking it’s quite acceptable to fake an injury in order to get ahead in the game. Which isn’t right.
Mr Football players, it’s time you realise the impact you’re having on the younger folk and stop spending half the game rolling around on the floor. Dare I say it – grow up (so the kiddy-winks can as well.)