Sorry, Professional Footballers – You ARE Role Models

Courtesy of
Courtesy of

So I nanny part time now. It’s great. I love it.

Friday the boy has sport. It’s my job to take him. In the summer it was tennis which was shit. I hate tennis. Worse still watching ten year olds play tennis. ‘Cause there’s only like a forty percent chance they’ll get the ball over the net. Honestly, some nights we’d be there for hours.

Now it’s winter and the boy plays football (or soccer for any Australians/Americans in the room.) Good. I like football. Well. Apart from that night where it pissed down and the boy and me returned home stinking and looking like drowned rats. Smelling because whatever poly-blend my cardigan was made up of didn’t take well to water. The boy stank because, well, he’s a boy.

So now it’s football and I like it because at least I understand it. When there’s a goal scored it’s one goal. Not fifteen love or whatever shit scoring system they have in tennis.

What I don’t like is how some kids behave on the field. Because it’s all too familiar.

Like the other night. Some kid tripped over or slipped, because it was quite wet. His opposite number happened to be running by at that exact moment. So fallen kid, or clumsy kid, or whiney kid (whatever you want to call him) started clutching his shin, crying and screaming at the referee.

He’d seen this on the TV. Elite footballers getting paid hundreds of thousands of pounds per week falling like a pack of cards because someone from the other team got too close to their precious shins. Because someone from the other team was doing their job – ie trying to get to that round ball that is so vital in the game of football.

I know why the professional players roll around on the ground clutching whatever body part was grazed by their opposite number – they’re trying to get a penalty or free kick. Which strikes me as a bit odd. Does none of them want to win by own merit? Like creating opportunity of goal-scoring themselves? Also – do they not feel a bit, I don’t know, weak? I mean, is not a very manly thing to do; cry and carry on by slight skin-to-skin contact. You’d never see a rugby player doing that.

Am trying to imagine the likes of Adam Jones crying about being hit too hard on the rugby field. Would never happen. Because he’s Adam Jones.

Me and Adam Jones. Have cut Mr Thomas out of the picture there (apologies). Adam Jones hard man with crazy hair. But lovely and kind.
Me and Adam Jones. Have cut Mr Thomas out of the picture there (apologies). Adam Jones hard man with crazy hair. But lovely and kind.

Alun Wyn Jones would never roll about on the floor crying, either. I should add that using Alun Wyn as an example is simply so I can include a photo of him. Would you take a look. Handsome.

Courtesy of
Courtesy of

But back to the football players. While they’re making themselves look like absolute sissies rolling around on the floor, not one of them, I’m sure, realises the impact they are having on the younger generation. Because now the kiddy-winks will have no concept about fair-play, trying, or getting back on their feet and carrying on. You know, the things you want your kids to learn when playing sport. If they’re using their footballing heroes as role models, kids of today will be thinking it’s quite acceptable to fake an injury in order to get ahead in the game. Which isn’t right.
Mr Football players, it’s time you realise the impact you’re having on the younger folk and stop spending half the game rolling around on the floor. Dare I say it – grow up (so the kiddy-winks can as well.)

25 thoughts on “Sorry, Professional Footballers – You ARE Role Models

  1. Hmm, I agree with you that diving is sad and pathetic. The trouble is the game of football is worth so much money to everyone involved now that these, often very young, guys are under great deals of pressure to win at all costs. In the midst of a vitally important game such as a cup final or a league title decider they can’t be expected to consider the impact they will be making on the lives of young aspiring footballers in local parks. That’s why the kids have their own managers and parents. To teach them what is right and wrong.

    Do rugby players have a duty not to gouge each others eyes out, in case of impressionable kids?


          1. I guess it’s just that step too far for me who didn’t grow up watching rugby. We don’t have rugby in Adelaide. The first time I ever saw it was when I met Mr Thomas. It has the same mystic, unimportant quality as, I so t know, curling has. It’s hardly on free to air tv or anything.

            So I started watching union with Mr Thomas and loved it. Then I watched a league game. I found it disjointed and very stop-start. I’ve equated the differences between the two as with Union, when you get tackled, your friends all come in to help you out. In league when you get tackled, your friends fuck off and leave you to it.

            Also, I should note that I have nothing against football. I think that got lost somewhere through all of this.


  2. It’s. nOt so much the feigning injury that bothers me (although it is an angle I hadn’t considered before so thank U for that) it’s the wages. I feel sick whenever I hear how much a footballer makes a week. When I and so many others struggle on minimum wage and especially nurses who are making a difference but being paid shit money for it. But on the injury side it does happen where a tackle is more brutal than expected. A guy at my work seriously gubbed his leg playing football but he still plays (much to doctors annoyance) the underdogs we know around us are the real heroes.


    1. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’ve known many a footballer who has broken a leg. Injuries happen. We’re just into the crying wolf realms here. Whenever a player goes down there’s always those few moments – discussed by the commentators as well – as to whether it’s serious or not. In other sports (and please don’t get me wrong I love football) if a player goes down, it’s serious.


  3. Why is this behavior not banned by the governing body? Apparently, the money they are being paid is so good that it’s worth making total idiots of themselves in public. Sad. The money is why I have strong dislike of pro sports on any continent.

    To me, it’s still just a game, but these people are paid obscene amounts of money whilst the paying public goes home and decides whether to pay a bill or buy food? That is their own fault – Shame on those who support these overpaid players. Sorry Giorge.


    1. I get where you are coming from. People in this country complain what our leader gets paid yet is fraction of what their footballers get. Is not right n


    2. Everyone has a choice as to whether they go and watch football or not. These players make their clubs millions of pounds, so surely are entitled to a huge cut of that? I’d argue that football, or any sport is more than just ‘a game’. I can’t imagine my city without it’s football team. It is part of the identity of a city, gives people something to bond about, gives them hope and enjoyment outside of whatever mundane lives they may feel they have. Take the world cup for example, if England win that, there will be people dancing in the streets, open top bus parades, parties. Amazing stuff, I for one am so excited!

      Besides, I wouldn’t begrudge a footballer earning £100k a week when all those nasty bankers give themselves big fat bonuses and politicians leech the country dry! Footballers are the least of our worries 🙂


  4. I am so smiling. these footballers sometimes make a whopping 45000 euro per game. Guess some do deserve a emmy award for best guest role in the game.

    To fab you used big huggable Jones there ha ha he is grand in size and heart. Though some rugby players better not smile 😛

    But you are so right. footballers do go down easy. They pussies really.
    I like cycling on times. those crazy asses still keep going in a Giro after breaking a wrist. No months of rehabilitation. 2 weeks and back at it.


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