KOOL-AID: how do you like your eggs?

Turns out I like mine with a side of fuckery. Yes, yes. You’re probably all thinking is a bit sluttish of me. But has been a long time since have done fuckery of any sort. Admittedly, has been a long time since have wanted to. Depression and imprisonment tends to take urges away from you….

KOOL-AID: sleep. fecking sleep.

Have you been keeping up with Almost Drank the Kool-Aid? If not, this probably won’t make any sense to you. You can catch up from the beginning by selecting the Kool-Aid menu above.   sleep. fecking sleep. Am not sure if is actual insomnia. Has not been medically diagnosed, of course. And do not think…

KOOL-AID: thanks for writing, but I just can’t risk it

Recently, have been receiving emails from people who have read my blog and felt the need to write to me. Their emails are of concern for my well-being; touching base to make sure am okay, am not lonely, and wondering if they can help in any way. Really, nice, thoughtful stuff. A lot of them…

KOOL-AID: a visit to the doctors

Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-Aid… Yesterday Landlord came to me with a request. Would I drive him to the doctors today? He doesn’t trust the current state of his condition to drive into town. His meds need to be increased. Doctor about to go on leave so cannot make home visit. Three problems…

KOOL-AID: right. so the plan

Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-Aid… No. Have not abandoned plan to rid self of church retribution, even with discovery of Landlord’s Parkinson’s and his feelings about that. (side note: is he depressed? Should I be speaking to someone about it? Requesting he gets help? Sneak B group vitamins into his meals which, yes,…

KOOL-AID: landlord’s secret

 Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-Aid… When I moved into the gatehouse (yes, after seeing size of main house realised that is what my “cottage” is) Landlord supplied me with two sets of linen for my bed. Because could not be arsed washing linens in bathtub have extended use of linen beyond reasonable measures….

KOOL-AID: you’ve got mail

Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-Aid… Postman Pat happy today. No packages. One single envelope. Watched him pass the window from position on the couch. The swinging of the metal mail slot a sinister sound. Probably because mail was sinister. A5 envelope with Gruff’s untidy scrawl on front. Name was not on envelope. Seems…

KOOL-AID: i didn’t know you were seventeen

Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-aid… It’s been three days since the whole pond-falling incident. Yes, that’s how I’m referring to my suicide attempt. Today was visited by Landlord. Did wonder if he was “checking in.” To see if was still alive. No, that can’t be true. Because he would have come sooner, no?…

KOOL-AID: only if you’re famous

Another instalment of Kool-aid… Not everyone is treated poorly in the church. No one in the beginning. In the beginning there’s such enthusiasm. An excitement at all the church will do to save the world. In the beginning you are itching to get stuck in. Itching to spread the word of this glorious organisation. It’s…

KOOL-AID: a crying shame

Another instalment of Almost Drank The Kool-Aid… Have always been clumsy. Mum used to apologise. I got that trait from her, apparently. “Dad” used to make fun of my clumsiness, too. Yet he could never understand how I could be so clumsy in normal life, yet the moment I stepped out onto the field, I…

KOOL-AID: night-time caller

Another instalment of Almost Drank the Kool-Aid… Is a recluse still a recluse if he receives guests? Enjoying a packet of popcorn for dinner when heard a vehicle approach Landlord’s gates. I guess you could call it nosy, but by living in what I assume must be the gatehouse, I feel it’s my right to…