So I’m sitting here listening to iTunes Radio, which I love. My own iTunes playlists don’t have much variation. I’ve pretty much only got three or four bands I listen to on loop and as much as I love Oasis, the Beatles and Stereophonics, you can get sick of them after a while.
In iTunes Radio the album cover of the current song is displayed on the screen, which is also handy. You know exactly who you’re listening to. Yet this morning I began to notice a trend on all the album covers, particularly for the male artists.
I guess I’m at that age where these kind of things don’t happen to my generation. The people of my age group are too busy to worry about what’s cool. They’re probably just thankful there’s not baby vomit on their favourite trousers. Blokes in my social circle wear normal clothes. You know, jeans on weekends with proper straight-leg tailoring that covers the ankles, normal shirts that you don’t have to look at twice, wondering if it was actually meant for a girl. And socks. Blokes I know wear socks.
Not these junior burgers*. After careful examination, I’ve noticed that the ‘in thing’ for the One Direction set (basically any under-twenty baby-faced guy) is tight, tight jeans rolled to the calf teamed with canvas shoes. Sometimes there’s a variation to this. The ‘dressed up’ version swaps the jeans for trousers and canvas for leather. But the same look.
The top half depends on the personality of the individual. This is when the junior burger can really display his ‘personality.’ It’ll be a shirt, obviously; that’s the look. Yet it may be tight-fitted and buttoned right up to the collar, a button that hasn’t been used in the last twenty years but it now having a resurgence in popularity. Another common look is teaming a short sleeve shirt with a bow tie. Because you just don’t get enough bow ties in day-to-day fashions. Then there’s the floaty shirt set. In homage to the 90s, these shirts are big and breezy; the only difference being the collar size and teaming with tight, tight pants.
Does it not all look a bit ridiculous? Or am I just at that age where I’m going to find anything that’s being done by our youth as ridiculous? Surely, though, these fashions are going to be looked back with the same embarrassing cringes we had when looking back at the eighties?
Do you remember doing that? Seeing photos of the eighties and being utterly, tragically embarrassed by what you were wearing, even if you were five years old and it wasn’t you that chose the clothes? It was a nightmarish androgynous decade where men wore more makeup than women. There were bright suits, trousers rolled at the ankles, jackets rolled to the elbows. Pointy lace-up shoes, sans socks. Do you not remember spending the entire 90s and naughties making fun of those fashions? Laughing incredulously at what men wore, knowing for certain that would never happen again in these blokey times.
Exactly as it is now. And it’s awful. My question is – how long will it take for the embarrassment to set in? And does this mean we’re going to have a repeat of the same fashions on men in 30 years time? By which time I’ll be in my sixties, absolutely apoplectic at what ‘the youth of today are wearing.’
1. *‘Junior Burger’ is a term coined by me, meaning ‘trendy but pathetic spotty youths.’ It applies to males only, ranging from the ages of 15 to 25. They are distinguishable by their try-hardness, following current fashions to the letter and overwhelming desire to be ‘cool.’
2. When I googled 5 Seconds of Summer to get a shot of their album which is what started off this whole blog, I googled ‘Five Seconds of Summer.’ I’m kind of proud that that I didn’t know their name started with a number. Not so proud that I actually know who they are. But then again, I do spend my days looking after a fourteen year old girl.